What is ADD?

ADD stands for Adult Attention Deficit Disorder.

It is a disorder of the nervous system characterized by difficulties with as attention, planning, concentration, managing time and tasks, maintaining focus, and making thoughtful decisions.

ADD is not the inability to focus. It is an inabilty to regulate focus. So if you have ADD you may have difficulty focusing on some tasks, but you will also sometimes have difficulty not focusing, this is called hyperfocusing. You may ask, what is wrong with hyperfocusing? The problem with over focusing is that you lose track of time to the degree that many other tasks do not get done. It also can create a major time management issue.

When someone with ADD is interested in a topic, there focus shoots sky high, that is until they get bored. This is why it is common for people with ADD to have alot of unfinished projects. Or unfinished books. It is not uncommon for some with ADD to be reading several books at the same time, so when they start losing interest they switch books and on and on.

It is even worse if you are not interested in a topic at all. Then getting started and staying with the task can be very difficult.

These are some of the problem areas:

• Screening out distractions
• Starting and completing tasks
• Remembering tasks and plans
• Organizing information and belongings
• Being on time
• Prioritizing
• Losing focus by being distracted but interesting tasks or topics
• Completing obligations on time

There are two major areas where ADD impacts your life.

Regulating Focus:

This will create having extreme to moderate trouble with concentration. Trouble following conversations, "zoning out" without realizing it. Also blurting out and interupting alot because you mind is flying with ideas. Finishing tasks might feel impossible, and you might have several tasks started at once without the ability to continue. Of course getting easily distracted or forgetful, leading to errors or incomplete work.

Organization:

Keeping organization. Keeping things organized at home and work can be an enormous challenge. Areas of your home and/or work space can be get cluttered and messy. Usually it is not your whole home or work space usually it is select areas.

Underestimate the time it takes to complete tasks or having trouble with procrastination is another is with organizing This can also lead to difficulties making completing large projects very difficult. Adults with ADD often also continually forget or lose things.

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How it works

In couples therapy, the focus of treatment isn't just one person, it is the couple itself. The therapy is brief, solution-focused and specific, with attainable therapeutic goals. In the first session the issues are explored and then goals are set. These goals are worked on and monitored as we go forward. In a short amount of time sessions are usually moved to every other week to allow you to learn work out conflicts and issues with less input from me.

As we progress my office will become a safe haven, where problems can be discussed without fear of pain, judgment or retribution. In my office you will learn a better way to express your needs and hurts with your partner. By using specific interventions and techniques, hurtful and destructive patterns in the relationship are changed to create a stronger, more open and meaningful relationship.

Situations where couples therapy can be helpful:

• Communication is breaking down
• There is diminished sexual desire and activity level
• You find that you are replaying old arguments and resurrecting old hurts
• You are finding yourself feeling resentment and contempt for your mate most of the time
• One or both of you are having an affair
• Money seems to be a source of conflict frequently
• You feel that you are being suffocated by the relationship
• It feels easier to avoid talking about issues
• You seem to be fighting about your children all the time
• Infertility issues are tearing the relationship apart
• You are worried he/she doesn't care about you anymore
• You are finding yourself worrying that he/she is cheating

The Results

In couples therapy you will learn to identify negative patterns that are getting in the way of the relationship and friendship you once felt. We will work on how the two of you can stop blaming each other so you can work through your problems without creating new hurts and resentments. You will learn how recognize and then to avoid power struggles. I will demonstrate and model healthy ways to communicate and relate to each other, which will strengthen the quality of your relationship.

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Am I Depressed?

Many people when they see me ask me if they are depressed.

Depression is categorized by feelings of sadness and worthlessness. Individuals may also experience a change in appetite. Some people may eat more food to help them feel better. Others may experience a loss of appetite. Fatigue is a common trait and many sufferers have trouble getting up to start their day. Individuals with depression may have trouble with concentration and memory. Many people who have this issue do not seek help, because they feel it is a weakness.

Anybody can get depressed.

Depression can be caused by stressful life events, heredity, illness, and addiction. Women can suffer from depression because of menstruation and pregnancy. Men are less likely to get help for their condition. As a result they are more likely to use drugs and alcohol as a form of self medication.

How Do You Treat Depression?

Treatment options include over the counter remedies(which you need to be very careful with), antidepressant medication, and of course therapy. The type of treatment that you decide on will depend on the severity of your depression.

In therapy, sufferers of depression may feel better by getting their feelings out. Other ways therapy can help is exploring triggers and developing action plans. Therapists can also evaluate if a consultation by a psychiatrist is needed. I also find that when I have someone on medication I can monitor side effects and see how effective the medication is. This is because I see the person weekly and your psychiatrist will see you 30-90 days. There are several antidepressant medications on the market. It may take time to find the drug that is right for you. Some medications can take a few weeks to improve mood. Some medications have negative side effects as well. Lowering your dose will usually help diminish side effects of the medication.

Benefits of depression treatment include :

• improvement of sleep disturbances
• improvement in self image
• more success at work
• clearer thinking and improved memory
• better family life
• healthier eating
• more energy to exercise
• better coping skills
• more organization
• an improved social life

People with depression think they can get better on their own but often miss the benefits of treatment. It is important to seek help if needed. From my experience this is caused by the belief depression is a weakness. It is important to understand this is not true and their is no shame in asking for help.

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"EMDR (Eye Movement Desensitization and Reprocessing) provides a way for people to free themselves of destructive memories and it seems to work, even in cases where years of conventional therapy have failed." - Hugh Downs, 20/20, ABC News

During an EMDR session the patient combines the focusing on a memory and moving one's eyes while following the therapist's fingers or an object that is used to focus on. As the session begins you will be aware of the feelings and thoughts connected to the memory while simultaneously making the rapid eye movements. As the process starts, your perception of the traumatic memory will begin to change. It can become more complete, with an increase in the emotional content or intensity. Or the memory may fade. Regardless of how EMDR proceeds, the unpleasant feelings and negative thinking fade and are replaced by more positive feelings and thoughts.

When the process is completed you will remember the event. Understand and know that it happened but will no longer be "haunted" by it or disturbed by the memory. This then changes the way you view other parts of your lives.

For more information please visit my EMDR website: nyemdr.com

Level II EMDR Clinician with over 15 years experience using the process

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Americans are starving for a sense of purpose, a sense of being home. This hunger is a void that never seems to get filled. We can buy that new car, computer or meet the love of our life to relieve it. Yet is it any wonder that we have a credit card crisis? All retail therapy has achieved is that some of us have mortgaged our futures to credit card companies. On top of that the divorce rate is at an all-time high. All that happens is that the void temporarily feels smaller, but the space remains. One way this thirst for belonging and being back at home can be quenched is by allowing a personal relationship with G-d as you understand Him, Her or It.

"As Western medicine begins to incorporate a more holistic approach, we in mental health must recognize the necessity of identifying and honoring our patients' strengths. Spirituality is what many people call upon when first encountering health concerns. Wanting to understand this relationship, major healthcare institutions--including those at Johns Hopkins and Harvard, as well as Sheppard Pratt--have begun to sponsor conferences on Spirituality and health." --Martin, Marilyn. "Bridging the mental health/spirituality divide: appropriate spiritual interventions can aid therapists." Behavioral Health Management, November 1, 2003

It is time for psychotherapists to stop competing with people's beliefs, and instead work together with them. I happen to have a strong spiritual foundation due to several incidents when I was very young. This makes me sensitive to this need, but this does not mean therapists should push religion or G-d. Rather, it means honoring this relationship, if it is there. Spiritual Faith is a big part of the human experience and can make life easier and fuller.

It is this relationship with G-d that is important, not the religion. Religion, to me, is the language we choose to use to speak with and understand G-d. You can talk to G-d in Christianity, Islam, Judaism or any other religious language. It is very important not to confuse the language with the relationship. This is one of the main tenets of Jesus' teachings.

"But when you pray, go into your room and shut the door and pray to your Father who is in secret; and your Father who sees in secret will reward you. And in praying do not heap up empty phrases as the Gentiles do; for they think that they will be heard for their many words. Do not be like them, for your Father knows what you need before you ask him." --Matthew 6:6-8

I believe that one's relationship with G-d is very similar to relationships we have with other people in our lives. The relationship can be endangered by expectations that we feel are not met. This relationship can also be damaged by a perceived abandonment in our time of need.

If you can heal this relationship and remove the obstacles that interfere with your faith, you can then allow G-d’s love to touch and heal you. This in turn will make it easier for you to like yourself, and then love yourself. This is where it is the therapist's job to understand and help.

I don't view what I do as religious; rather I am a relationship specialist. As a psychotherapist, I help others heal their wounds and relationships. Having a strong faith in G-d, I believe that he can be a very healing presence. Using my skills coupled with my beliefs I try to help others reconcile their differences with G-d. From there it's up to you. I am not affiliated with any religion, and as I said, I only view it as the language you decide to speak. You can decide to go back to your original religion, try a new one, or not use one at all. My job is only to reconcile the relationship, if that’s what you feel you need. Once the relationship is healed the rest is up to you and G-d, as you understand him to be.

Once again, it is not my job to push this relationship, but if it is there, to help nurture it So no worries that you will be pushed down this road; it is a road that is available.

"Prayer is not an old woman's idle amusement. Properly understood and applied, it is the most potent instrument of action." --Mohandas K. Gandhi (1869-1948), Indian political, spiritual leader. Non-Violence in Peace and War, vol. 2, ch. 77 (1948).

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